


a good man would be able to control the monster that lurks inside

by thatemofangirl



Series: AUgust 2020 [14]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU-gust 2020, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The First Avenger Spoilers, Character Turned Into Vampire, Dark Steve Rogers, Gen, Human Experimentation, Internal Conflict, Not Canon Compliant, Side Effects, Vampire Steve Rogers, Vampires, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25906615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatemofangirl/pseuds/thatemofangirl
Summary: The tags basically give it all away.But if you didn’t read them, this is a oneshot in which Steve Rogers is learning to control the different person he became after the super solider serum transformation.
Series: AUgust 2020 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858408
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	a good man would be able to control the monster that lurks inside

**Author's Note:**

> Day 14: Vampire AU
> 
> Well, this one is on the short side. It was either this or another 20k. I really was struggling in the decision, but since this one got chosen, it's safe to assume that I didn't finish the first idea in time.
> 
> My mind really wandered into the dark side with this one.

The serum wasn't supposed to work like this.

Something had gone wrong.

Steve stood in front of the dirty mirror in the Camp Lehigh bathrooms, clenching the porcelain sink tight enough to feel it crack underneath his fingertips.

He didn't like the person he was seeing in the mirror.

He knew he came out of Stark's machine looking different. He _felt_ different. The serum...Project Rebirth...Erskine had told him that it would change him physically. Protext his cells to the point where he might not even age, change his entire physiology. It would even alter his brain. It took Steve a day or two to get used to the new growth. The height. The muscle. Erskine told him to expect it.

But on the third day, the unthinkable happened, and something the doctor had told him made it's way front and center in his brain. That the super soldier serum was highly experimental. Steve was the first test subject, the first to test.

The day before the procedure, Erskine had something to him with so much double meaning, Steve couldn't help but to think it was some kind of code to convince Steve that it was him. _"A good man..."_

Those words played on repeat as Steve's hands crunched even more into the sink, nearly taking out chunks as he squeezed his eyes shut.

He could hear himself gulping down the urge to go attack the men sleeping in the room next to him. Where his heart should have been pounding in his chest, Steve only heard deafening silence. With a staggering gasp, he looked back at himself in the mirror.

His eyes were still pitch black.

_"A good man."_

Erskine warned Steve that there could have been side effects. He warned him that he would have liked to have more time to work on the serum, but given the circumstances, the SSR didn't want to wait any longer.

He told Steve that his strength would increase tenfold. That his eyesight would sharpen and brighten to the point where he could spot a bird four miles away. That he could feel the slightest change in temperature. That he would be able to hear sweat slide down someones face. That that his nose would pick up on even the smallest scent. That his memory would become nearly photographic. That he would move so fast, every action was almost a blur.

He didn't tell Steve that the side effects that hit him full force on the third day would stretch his morality and humanity so thin to the point that he could barely keep a grasp on them.

He didn't tell Steve that with his newfound power, when blood was spilt, instead of smelling coppery and metallic, it was the most enticing and tempting smell Steve had ever smelt in his entire life.

That _blood_ would make his irises turn fifty shades darker and his mouth water and a thirsting hunger curdle his stomach.

That _blood_ would become the only thing on his mind, clouding his inhibitions and fighting to take control of his actions. Feeding thoughts like wanting to sink his teeth into a person's skin just because if it smelled that appetizing, it had to taste even better, into his brain.

Erskine didn't tell Steve that by agreeing to be a test subject, that Steven Grant Rogers would die in that secret lab in Brooklyn, and would come out, be reborn, as a monster.

Steve felt like screaming. He felt like bashing his head into the wall just to make the thoughts stop.

_"A good man."_

Steve understood what the second meaning behind those words meant.

It was taking every shred of strength Steve had to stop himself from emerging from that bathroom and committing genocide on all of the unsuspecting cadets sleeping just a few buildings away.

The two parts of his brain were at a war of it's own. One side—his human side— was struggling to keep the other contained. The side that wanted to be ruthless and unforgiving. Willing to do anything to satiate this new hunger no matter the consequences.

The fact that Steve even had a side that wanted that made him nauseated. He was on the brink of emptying the contents of his stomach into the sink in front of him. He had always hated his genetics, hated the fact that he was never strong or tall or able to take more than three punches before he got hurt to the point of near incapacitating, but never in his life had Steve ever been _disgusted_ with himself.

But he had gotten his wish, didn't he?

Steve wanted to be able to join the army. Fight in the war. He now had the power to single handedly take on an army headfirst with nothing but his bare hands.

But at what cost?

_"A good man."_

Steve wasn't just a man anymore. He wasn't just human anymore. But Steve understood what it meant.

If someone else had been given the serum, if they had taken on these side effects, the power...the thirst would have overwhelmed them.

They would have acted on their first instict without even a second thought. They would become crazed and bloodthirsty and start rampaging killing spree devoid of emotion or knowledge of consequence.

But Steve knew what he wanted to do. He's had a clear mind since he was sixteen. He knew the line that divided right and wrong, and he knew how to stay on the right side. He knew what the most morally justifiable actions were. He wouldn't allow himself to become a murderer for nothing but selfish reasons.

It was nearly tearing Steve apart. His hand slipped from the sink, pieces breaking off in his palm.

He fell to his knees with a heavy thud, hanging his head as he took ragged breaths. His eyes were screwed closed as he tried to get the smell of Hodge's blood out of his mind. The man had scraped his head against a rock after tripping in mud on their unit's last run of their day. If Steve hadn't been debilitated by the sudden aromatic smell, making both his head and thoughts spin, if Steve hadn't already been at the finish because of his new speed, he wouldn't have been able to run away to the bathrooms where he's locked himself in for the past three hours.

_"A good man."_

Steadily, after another twenty minutes, Steve's breathing evened out. His other hand fell into his lap.

He stayed there on the bathroom floor, unmoving, for a little while longer. He felt both mentally and physically drained. That battle had been the worst one of his entire life, all for the sake of control.

He feared standing back up, facing the man in the mirror, but he did it.

He opened his eyes last, and a near hysterical laugh escaped his lips when he was staring into his own crystal blue eyes. Swiping his tongue over his teeth, he made sure the points had retracted. His skin had tinted pink again, instead of it being the milky white it was when his eyes went dark.

He looked human again.

But then any relief he had found in finding himself again had faded when he realized he wasn't sure if he could do this again. Steve was preparing to go to _war._ They all were.

Bloodshed and death would be everywhere. It took him three hours isolated to go back to normal—if this state of being constituted as normal.

Would he be able to do it again? With temptation being around every corner? Every step?

Erskine was dead. He had no one to confide in anymore. Surely, he couldn't tell Colonel Phillips, or Agent Carter, or even Howard Stark. They would push to have him contained, if he told them about having urges to rip a human apart to taste their blood. He would become a threat too dangerous to risk if they knew.

No. Control was crucial. Steve couldn't—he wouldn't settle for anything less. He wouldn't allow himself to become the monster that inhuman part of his brain wanted him to be.

Because Steve was a good man. He was trusted to be able to overcome this power. He had a job to do. A war to fight and win. A man to save from that very war in the process. A life to live.  
Erskine believed he could do it. That he would be able to control _it_ instead of letting it control him.

And that's exactly what he was going to do. Because he had to. Because he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he couldn't.


End file.
